Friday, August 29, 2014

{SMB}: 20 Ways an AZ Summer = a MN Winter!

My August contribution to Scottsdale Mom's Blog.
I think it's interesting (and comical) to note that within 24 hours, this became the 4th highest viewed post in SMB history.  I guess there are a LOT of people in my area who can relate!

http://www.scottsdalemomsblog.com/2014/08/04/20-ways-an-az-summer-a-mn-winter/
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UPDATE:  As referenced here, this post was published January 2015 on the Huffington Post in a slightly amended version (since it was by then winter, of course).  Kind of fun!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebecca-hubanks/20-ways-a-minnesota-winter-equals-an-arizona-summer_b_6459064.html
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Our family moved to Phoenix from southeast Minnesota 1 year ago, making THIS our first full AZ summer — and all I can say is Holy Moley. This desert dwelling thing is no joke!

If you find yourself in Phoenix sweating summer or in Minnesota braving winter, you’ll surely relate to these parallels

… and you have my heartfelt sympathies, complete with a giant albeit sweaty {you’re welcome} hug!!

1. Your utility bills are unbelievably astronomically fourletterwordworthily super high.
2. You duck your head and dart quick-as-lightening from your car to the nearest building. Any building.
3. You dare not seat your toddler in a shopping cart that has spent more than 4 consecutive minutes outside.
4. Two words: Cabin Fever. “If only we could go to a park!”
5. Two more words: Weight Gain. For them, it’s baked goods and cocoa; for us, it’s beer and ice cream. But the outcome is the same…
6. You open wide the vents and run your car for 15 minutes before entering.
7. It’s 4 months long, if you’re lucky.
8. You long for 50 degrees.
9. Anyone who can leave town, does, making your neighborhood a veritable ghost town.
10. Standing in a parking lot, buckling your child into his car seat becomes the single most miserable physical experience of both of your lives.
11. You go to great lengths to park under some kind of structure/awning/sizable vegetation.
12. It takes ffffoooorrrreeevvvveerrrrr to leave the house.  If it isn’t coats, mittens, socks and boots, it’s sunblock applied, water bottles filled, hats secured and more sunblock applied because maybe your mom is an oncology nurse and you have red hair and therefore boast zero tanability. (Or is that just at our house?) 
13. You find yourself lingering near heat- or cold-producing appliances.
14. Anything with a drive thru becomes “Gourmet” in your mind.
15. You wouldn’t be caught dead outside without shoes. Or if you were caught, you would probably be dead.
16. Some of the most harrowing images you can conjure involve having car trouble and no cell service.
17. The presiding topics of conversation become anticipated travel plans, recently embarked upon travel excursions, and dreams of some-day travel ventures.
18. The community motto becomes “Why Is It, Again, That We Live Here?”
19. You quickly exhaust any and all possible indoor entertainment options for kids.
20. You stop checking the weather forecast, realizing it’s only going to be “VERY HOT” or “VERY COLD”.
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These being said, we in Arizona might have a leg up.
“Why,” you ask?

Because one fact remains (say it with me!): 

You can’t shovel sunshine!

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*This post is dedicated to all of my beloved MN friends. You didn’t unfriend me when I posted with nauseating frequency scads of gorgeous Arizona winter weather Facebook photos. I now must suffer in kind as my feed is filled daily with images of your lakes and your gardens and your beautiful green outsideness. I have tasted my own medicine, and it is bitter. You win the weather war……… until January!!

1 comment:

  1. Wow!! 4th highest! Awesome! I knew you'd be good at this!=) Soon I'm going to be telling people to follow your awesome, famous blog! =)

    ReplyDelete