The Snake Saga

We are loving our home, and as you'll soon read in my upcoming entry for Scottsdale Moms Blog (will post here when published!), Arizona springtime has a lot to offer.  But the other day, Mikel and I discovered one major drawback: SNAKES.

In the name of Operation Move Everyone to Arizona, I should qualify this post to say:

1: We did, after all, purchase a property with a desert-scape golf course backdrop which attracts bunnies and quail and mice and other critters...  We should have known (or maybe we did) that one critter usually means the presence of others.

& 2: All reliable sources (i.e., every neighbor we have and our home's previous owner who heard The Saga through the grapevine and emailed me her reassurances) report the same: Snakes are unwelcomed but infrequent enough visitors.  That is to say, hopefully we got our sighting out of the way and we're set for the next decade.

*****

So all was well and good that fateful Saturday morning.  

Our pool net install was nearing completion, Mikel had returned home from rounding, and we all wandered out to inspect the finished product.

The pool guy headed out, and Mikel, clad in his scrubs and bare feet, ducked into our outdoor half bath for a minute.  

Suddenly, I heard a word we don't use come flying through the air.  Initially thinking it was a disgruntled golfer airing his grievances, I turned to see a white faced Mikel emerge quickly from the bathroom and slam the door.  His eyebrows were up to his hairline as he tied his scrub pants and breathed, "Soooooooo, there's a snaaaaaake in theeeerrrrrrre..."

Here's how to conversation went from there:

- What??!!

- There's a snake in there!

- What??!!

- Yeah!

- Shut up.  Don't lie.

- I'm not lying.

- Shut up.  A snake?!  Like, how big?!

- I don't know... (holding arms out to approximate)

- That big?!  No way.  Shut up.  How big is it really?

- Becca, what do you want me to say?  There's a BIG SNAKE in there.  Look! (cracks door open) - it's right there.

- I'm not looking!!  Here, use my phone and take a picture so I can look.

- Will you just look?!

- Will you just take a picture?!

He takes this:

Me: What do we do?

- I don't know.

- You think if we just shut the door and leave it all summer it'll starve?

- I don't know.

- How did it get in there?!

- I don't know.

- Do you still need to go to the bathroom?

- Yeah.

*we just stand there looking at each other a minute*......

Mikel: Maybe we can coax it out with something.

- COAX it OUT?!  With what?! So it can go where?!

- I don't know.

*more silence*

Me: Maybe Lyle and Kathy have done this before.  Think I should get them?

- Yes.

*****

So off I ran to Lyle and Kathy's house.  They are the supremely kind retired couple who live next door to us.  Prior to this, one of them has already: fixed our malfunctioning accent lights, repaired a portion of our side gate and delivered us a beautiful collection of succulents as a housewarming gift:

They always greet us, hug Nolan and are just so pleasant.  

My, my - we are enjoying knowing them.  

And on this day, they answered their door and dropped whatever they were doing to head over and show off their snake-lassoing skills.

I didn't get any great photos of the process because everything moved so fast (literally and figuratively), but someone shoo'd it out with a broom

 Kathy held Nolan, I held the camera, and the snake came out a-slithering.  It sped along the side of the house for a second until Lyle the Brave picked it up with his hand (gulp) and launched it not once but twice across the yard until it flew over the fence.

Let me just say one thing: if you think a snake slithering along the ground is disturbing, nothing compares the sight of one twisting and flailing through the air.  Vomit.

 Just another day in AZ.

(Like how Mikel is still without shoes and standing clear of the snake zone??)

 Thank you, Lyle and Kathy!  

This may well go down in history as the most neighborly thing in the history of neighbors.