The Council

I've had this blog post on my mind for a long time now, and I haven't been able to bring myself to sit down and write it.  

Maybe it's because I get too emotional. 

Maybe it's because putting these thoughts on paper will mean acknowledging that my time with these ladies is actually coming to a close.  

Maybe I'm afraid I won't do them justice.

.Maybe it's All of the Above.

Last fall, my girlfriends and I read and adored Jen Hatmaker's book "7:  An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess".  Witty, sharp, convicting, refreshing, inspiring, hilarious.  Loved it.

In the book, Jen fasts in 7 different categories of her life, one per month for 7 months.  

Critical to the experiment is her "Council" - her 7 closest friends who are instrumental in helping her to navigate this strict commitment in the real world situations she encounters.  They join with her in various ways along her journey - different but united.  They commit to praying for her and she for them.  They keep the bigger picture when she gets overwhelmed with the details of her endeavor.  They all seem to "get" each other.  They contribute to her sanity and are faithful friends.  Plus, they're hysterical to read about. 

I have been ridiculously blessed with solid girlfriends during residency.

I have found a Council here.  

This circle of friends is unique because:

- Each girl has an independent friendship with each other girl.  Like a spider's web, you could draw lines and connect us all separately.

- Each of us is a Believer, walking actively with Christ.

- We as a group are not characterized by the jealousy, competition and rampant gossip that ruins so many female relationships.

- We love - and I mean love - each others' kids, and we help to care for them.  We rock them, hug and kiss them.  We take them to the potty. We put them in time out. We help put on their socks and shoes.  We take them swimming or to the park. We cart them in our cars.  We feed them (okay, not the nursing ones!!).  I know I've filled sippy cups, cleaned up sickly-belly poop, kissed scrapes, cut up meat, started baths, and folded clothes of kids not my own.  And happily so.  Because I love them.  And as much has been done for me.

- Each of us is married to a resident, which inherently carries a degree of understanding.

- None of us had kids when we met, and now there are 12 (soon to be 13!) among us.

- As alike as we are, we are every bit that much different.  Which is why we have so much fun when we get together.

- This summer will mark at least 5 years that we have all known one another.

For the past couple of years, we have made a point of getting together for "girls nights" as often as possible -- usually once a month, and certainly when there was a birthday to be celebrated.  With 3 babies arriving in the last 6 months, it got a little more difficult recently to coordinate, but we've marched on valiantly.  

(Special shout-out to the husbands (and Bubba) who supported our need for these relationships - and for a night out.)

- Julia -

You are my nurse-turned-mom partner-in-crime.  I wonder how many late evenings we spent rehashing nursing stories or sharing our mutual heart for dear patients (plus our mutual frustrations with Mayo's charting system!).  And now I wonder how many laps we've walked around the gym's track with babes strapped to our chests, solving the problems of the world.  

You are meek and gentle and patient - a faithful and selfless friend who is as dependable as they come.  You inspire me in how you are always one to say "yes" whenever possible.  A neighborhood walk, a Douglas Trail jog, a chance for the dogs to play in your yard --- you nearly always say "yes"!  I especially cherish those long neighborhood walks - and the days of rollerblading for miles and miles and miles.

I think, above all, you are thoughtful.  You consider others before yourself, and you give freely of what you have.

God knew what He was doing when He put us across the table from each other at that first MFC event.

You are a treasure, and I love you.

- Beth - 

I remember meeting you in Nicole's living room.  We had both recently gotten married, and I thought you seemed so nice. Little did I know that we would spend countless hours at each others' kitchen tables (okay - mostly I would at yours...), and one of the most meaningful, transparent friendships would bloom.  I have had the honor of co-leading our SBS group with you for the last 3 years, and it has been a distinct pleasure that I would not trade.  I have pondered and come to understand more Scripture seated beside you than I could have expected, and it has been simply wonderful.

You are my amazing cook friend.  You blow me away with your resourcefulness and generosity.  Hospitality flows from your every pore - you can't help it.  I could never repay you for the over-and-above kindness you have shown me.  When Mikel was on his 3-month rotation in the cities, you hosted me AT LEAST weekly, and I looked forward to it as much as I did to him coming home every weekend!  You don't mind when I show and/or describe for you whatever physical ailment might arise. (It's been very handy having you as my own personal P.A. -- thanks for not billing me!) 

You are easy to be friends with.  You never grumble.  You never gossip.  You have sent me home with more maternity clothes than I could wear, more food than I could eat, and more memories than I can recount.  

You are tremendous, and I love you.

- Kerri -

You are one of the most sincere, intentional women I have ever known.  I am so blessed to recall my first 2 years of SBS, led by you and Nicole.  I will never forget moving through the book of Romans that semester and coming away having learned so very much from you.

You have tremendous empathy and compassion, and you exude it easily.  You are a a self-proclaimed introvert,  yet you demonstrate careful sensitivity and hospitality toward others -- a beautiful combination indeed.  You are a faithful prayer warrior.  You are transparent through struggles, and you have a way of thinking through situations - and then verbalizing your thoughts with an eloquence that never ceases to amaze me!  

I respect you as a mom, a nurse and a Believing friend who seeks to do life WELL in as many ways as you can.

You are an inspiration, and I love you.

- Steph -

What can I really say?  

You are one of a kind.  I will never know another Steph Schmitt - that's one thing for sure. How did I get so blessed as to cross paths with you in this crazy life?  You are simply incredible.  You have more tenacity, motivation, and energy in one spoken sentence than I can muster in a week.  You are welcoming. You make everyone feel at ease, and you attract friends merely by walking through a room.  You hold yourself to excellence in so many ways, yet you somehow don't push that expectation onto others. You celebrate others' successes with a smile and ready applause.  You are good at finding ways to laugh at yourself, and you make any room more fun and energetic just by being there.

You are generous.  Nolan wouldn't have half of his earthly possessions if not for you.  And I would have missed many more meals and eaten far less candy.

You had 3 kids in 23 months.  And they're all still alive 2 years later.  I mean, really.

Thanks to you, I routinely say words like beezer and ree and unnuhweahs and yeggs.  Thanks to your kids, Nolan is Baby NoNo; I am Bubbuk and Kekka. The welcome we receive when entering your home is unparalleled -- so many open arms, smiles, exclamations and excited chatter.  We feel like rock stars!  Your kids represent your open door policy well.

Mikel and I expanded our family, not just with you, Bill, Charlie, Claire and Ellie - but also with your parents and Bill's parents and siblings.  They have been something of our family away from home, and have supported and received us as well.  We should probably name our next child Butz Schmitt Hubanks.  

You are talented, inspiring and beautiful.  

You are amazing, and I love you.

- Nicole -

If I had not met you, I would be lacking a whole community of friends. You connect other people with each other because you are inclusive.  You rejoice in building healthy community wherever you go. You are my perfectly matched work-out buddy, making any workout 10 times more fun and rewarding.  I will never, never forget our 13-milers that actually whizzed by once we got on a talking topic we could focus on -- which never took too long.  You are the one whose decadent baking makes my husband exclaim with a full mouth, "Nicole, I could never be married to you."  -- and you receive it as the compliment that it is!  

You are intentional.  You are fun-loving.  You are one of my favorite people to entertain with stories because you listen readily and you laugh easily and often.  You are academic.  Some day, I hope to read grown up books like you.  We share a love for singing and pleaded connived prayed our way onto the same Worship Team rotation at church.  I will never sing Revelation Song without thinking of you and hearing your beautiful voice.

You are wonderful, and I love you.

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Community will be found yet again in Arizona and I look forward to the friends God will lead me to.  But I will dearly and sorely miss these sisters.  There's just no other way about it.  

You have each blessed me time and time and time again, and I am so very thankful for you and for these 5 years.